Well, that was a bugger wasn’t it? As so often happens with England, we were so near and yet, so far. Yes, there are loads to be proud of. Arguably Italy was the better team but it’s the day after and I’m still gutted. You have to wonder why we put ourselves through the pain and the agony. Because, lets face it, as an England football fan we have been through plenty! This was the first football final in my lifetime, with glorious failure being a regular feature of past tournaments.  As an Everton fan, this was the first chance at a trophy for a team I follow since 1995! Thanks Paul Rideout!

So, why do we do it? Well, it’s for the memories. The joys are higher because of the pain we have to go through. I get stressed, angry, annoyed and extremely one-eyed when it comes to the ref!! Is it enjoyable to watch sport, especially when there is so much on the line? In a word, NO! Yet I will keep putting myself through it because occasionally you get to the team or player you are supporting win.

I can remember where I was when Murray won the US Open - the Wimbledon Final when he beat Djokovic. Anyone watching will remember the torment of him serving for the title and that last game. The 2005 Ashes series is ingrained in my consciousness and for the flip side of emotions to last night, England winning the 2019 World Cup. I remember the near misses, the Own goal against Argentine, Sol Campbell disallowed god, Gascoigne missing by inches. it’s all part and parcel of sport to me.

So, for me to have the highs I have to be willing to experience the lows. Or as I say to my lad, in order to have a chance of winning you have to accept you could lose. The defeat last night was upsetting, especially for my seven-year-old son and his first time watching a match ending in tears. Yet in some ways, this was even beautiful, as it took me back to the 1990 World Cup when I was a similar age - England losing on penalties and me in tears being consoled by my Dad. Don’t get me wrong, I would have much preferred the joy of winning and jumping up and down with him in ecstasy but there is a certain wonderful symmetry.

When the dust settles we will have that bond. The memory of his first full match he watched on tv, the delirium when England scored and we truly believed it could happen. In time I won’t remember the match but I will him sitting by me sharing the experience, or my daughter Lucia chanting England on the sofa before exclaiming she wanted to go to bed 10 minutes in.

I know my wife often thinks I am crazy, especially as I never seem to enjoy watching any games. That to me is what it means to be involved, it matters. Not in the grand scheme of things but in that moment it does.

I grew up playing sport, mainly team ones and I love it. I love the camaraderie, the different people you meet, being part of a team, striving towards something. I remember the good performances, the bad ones, when the team won because of you and more often the time they didn’t. It has a massive impact on my life, brought me so much happiness and great memories I will carry forever. I believe it developed me as a person, my confidence, was a refuge for me when things weren’t great. It formed friendships and helped me meet people from all walks of life.

I love everything about sport, even the pain it brings. The heart goes out to the players who missed the penalties. I am reminded of the phrase sometimes ‘you can do everything right and still lose’. Football unlike life is a zero-sum game. One team has to win, the other has to lose. Sometimes you don’t get what you deserve, so you pick yourself up and try again. Like in life and business, in sport you need to be resilient and occasionally you get the rewards you deserve.

So I will continue to watch, to swear, to yell, to cheer, to laugh at the absurdity of it all. For I know that WHEN England finally win and bring it home, it will be all the better for the pain of those losses. I dream of the day when it happens, watching with my son and daughter, to share the moment. Yes there are more important things, but that doesn’t mean it isn’t important.

Here’s to the JOY and PAIN of sport - something I know my life wouldn’t be the same without.